Fear and Hope: Revised
by nightlight's fire
Summary: A simple revelation leads to a powerful realization. A revision of the original Fear and Hope. I think this one is better. Kate/Rick. ONE-SHOT. COMPLETE. T because I don't understand the rating system. Really should figure it out one day.


**Scarred Heart  
>presents<br>**__

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><p><strong>Fear and Hope<br>**__

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>Really? I tell you now, that if I owned Castle, those two would've been up to all sorts of things that definitely don't fit in with the whole, Unresolved Sexual Tension look.

**Summary:** A simple revelation leads to a powerful realisation.

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><p>"I'm surprised you managed to convince Kate to come," Alexis says. She is sitting at the white kitchen table, the one with high chairs, only paying partial attention to the Literature text book in her hands.<p>

"It took me three weeks, you know. In the end, the Castle charm won," Rick replied, playfully smug.

"Castle charm. Ha! More like Castle constant pestering," Alexis says. Castle can only smirk.

"There might've been some pestering," Castle admits. It is unnecessary.

"I'm still surprised. This is a _family _dinner," Alexis says. Rick abandons the salad to its own devices so he can turn around and face his daughter.

"So?" he replies. Alexis rolls her eyes.

"Kate. Family dinner. Kate who almost never talks about her family," she points out. Castle nods. Where she got her smarts from…

"Kate's family was broken by tragedy, and she rarely has happy moments with her father. That doesn't mean she doesn't want to have happy family moments," he says. "So it's our job to spread some cheer."

He knows that he sounds like a bad Christmas movie, by even bad holiday flicks can be right about some things. Besides, there was a certain level of selfish happiness in spreading happiness to others.

"Yeah. Still… I'm surprised you convinced her to come," Alexis says.

"Me too," Castle admits. He is. Surprised, that is. He hadn't thought that Kate would agree so easily. He thought it take three months, not three weeks.

"Six thirty, yeah?" Alexis confirms. Castle nods, having turned back to the salad.

"Need some help with the salad?" Alexis asks. Castle rummages through some draws. An 'Aha!' later, he turns around, holding a knife, cutting board and some tomatoes. Alexis laughs.

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><p>"<em>C'mon Beckett!" Castle whines. She looks up from her paperwork, frowning at him.<em>

"_Why are you so intent on getting me to come to this dinner?" Kate asks. Rick glances at his shoes, before his eyes travel back to Kate._

"_Because it'll be fun, and after the stuff we've been through recently, we need some cheer," he replies. The corners of her lips turn up. _

"_Why do you think you're my only source of cheer?" she asks. Rick glances at his shoes again. Nervousness can be overwhelming. Rarely._

"_Not your only source of cheer. But which of your other friends wants to have a _family_ get together?" he asks._

_He's right. Lanie had family, yeah, but they were scattered all over the place. Ryan's family was too big, and they weren't really that type of friends in the first place. Same with Espo. But here was Castle offering. A family dinner with the man she knew loved her._

_Rick spots the hesitance in her eyes. He can read it. He can read her. _

"_C'mon! You know you'll have fun!" he points out. She sighs shortly, before looking up at him. Mischievous._

"_Are you cooking?" she asks. _

"_Yeah," he replies. She smiles outright._

"_I have to ask my dad -"_

"_He's already on board," Rick interjects. Kate chuckles. _

"_You work fast, Rick. I'll give you that. Saturday, six thirty good?" she asks. _

_He sticks out his pinky, and they shake. His smile is with him when he comes home, several hours later._

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><p>Jim Beckett let out a sigh, drawing a scowl from his daughter.<p>

"Katie, are we ever going in?" he asks. Her scowl deepens.

"I'm just steeling my nerves," Kate defends. Jim chuckles, before casting a patient gaze over his daughter.

"You've been steeling your nerves for almost five minutes," he replies.

Kate's hair isn't done up in a special way, she's wearing a casual blouse and jeans. Everything was ordinary. Sort of.

"I'm starting to think you don't want to go in," Jim says. Kate lets out a deep breath.

"I do want to. Just give me a moment," she replies. The butterflies are practicing flashy flying in her stomach. They have to be. Why else would they be flipping so much?

"He's not going to eat you alive, Katie. You told me that you trust him," Jim points out. Trust her father to point out the obvious reasons. "Besides, it's just dinner."

"It's not just dinner, Dad. It's dinner with _family_," she replies. Jim nods knowingly.

"That's not the point. You're nervous because it's dinner with _him_," he retorts simply. She doesn't respond. "The fact that I'm here, and that his family are here, isn't the point."

She shouldn't be. Nervous. She really shouldn't. They certainly have lunch together often enough. And breakfast. And take-out dinners in the precinct. She wasn't nervous then. And when they were having Chinese noodles in the bull pen, they were usually alone, it was so late.

"You're right," she says. "I shouldn't be. But I am. It's not just him. It's family. People have family dinners when they're dating."

Her father pokes her shoulder, and she looks up from the floor. Staring at her heels wasn't that much fun anyway.

"Come on. I'm sure everything will be fine," Jim says. Before she can stop him, he's knocking on the door.

She hears rushing footsteps. A moment later the door opens and Rick is standing there, crookedly smiling at her and her father. Mostly at her.

"Are we having dinner in the hall now?" Martha's voice comes from inside the loft. She appears in the doorway a moment later wearing a dress that only she could pull off, her usual glamour evident.

"I should hope not," Jim says, before walking in with the Castle matriarch. Beckett and Castle were the only two left in the door.

"He leans forward, kissing her suddenly. His fingers are flighting gently, hesitantly, over her arm. They rest on her elbow. She doesn't pull way, nor does she respond with passion. Like his flighting fingers, the kiss is gentle; soft. More than a peck. They were too close. Too intimate. Suddenly as it began, it is over, and Castle is pulling back. Kate smiles as he takes her hand, snuggled nicely in his, and leads her in.

"Tonight is going to be fun," Jim says to Martha. Both are smirking, watching their respective children's exchange.

"Yes. Yes, it is," Martha replies.

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><p>Seated and smiling, dinner begins. Various cuts of meats and interesting salads are sitting on plates and in bowls.<p>

"You know they set us up to sit together, right?" Castle leans over and whispers to Kate. The others are too busy laughing at one of Jim's jokes to notice.

"You know I don't care, right?" she replies, mirroring Castle's playful tone. He rests a hand on her knee. Kate doesn't miss the slight widening of his eyes when she does nothing. She smiles ever so slightly shyly at him.

"Let them have their fun," she says, shy smile now a slight smirk.

"So Rick… how are you liking working with the NYPD?" Jim asks. Rick turns to him, leaving Kate's eyes. He reads between the lines.

"It's great fun, and the people are amazing," he replies. Jim's only response is a small smile and a nod, seemingly satisfied with the answer. Rick knows what it really means. The nod. After all, he's a father himself.

Time passes, dinner is eaten, and all the while, Rick can only focus on Kate. His eyes lock with hers at last once a minutes, and at one point, he even rubs small circles on the roof of her thigh. She smiles as he does.

She twirls her hair in her fingers, and rests her hand on top of his. She feels the warmth he brings.

"Well kiddo, you're cooking is as good as always, but I'm afraid I have to pull a vanishing act, Martha says. Plates all lying empty all over the table.

"I suppose you'll be back some time tomorrow afternoon, then?" Castle quips back. Martha laughs, brushing him off with a maybe, and proceeds with her vanishing act. Right out the door, with a dramatic, 'Ta ta!'

"I have to head off as well, Dad. Girls night sleepover, remember?" Alexis says when Castle pouts. He laughs.

"Go. Have fun. Don't do anything I wouldn't do," he advises. Alexis smirks.

"That's a lot of leeway, Dad. Sure you're comfortable with it?" the younger Castle retorts. The humour vanishes, and Rick's eyes appropriate the look of concerned father.

_He must have had a flair for acting as a kid,_ Kate mused.

"You're right! No alcohol, asleep by midnight, you hear?" he says comically. The table laughs, Alexis as well, and before long, the young lady is also on her way out the door for the night.

"Well Katie, I've gotta go to. Long drive, you know?" Jim says. He stands; the last family member to leave.

"Good luck, Katie," Jim whispers into his daughters ear as they hug.

Rick sees Jim to the door, while Kate stays in the lounge. The two men stop outside the door, and Rick runs his hand through his hair. Jim smirks at the younger man.

"Take care of her," Jim echoes words he's said before. Castle nods.

"Always," Rick replies. Different Beckett; different meaning. To Kate, it is a promise for the future. To Jim, it's an oath; a vow he wouldn't break even if asked.

"You bring out the best in my daughter, Rick. There's so much of her she still hides; even from you. Maybe you can change that," Jim says. Rick nods again. "I hope you can."

Castle shakes his hand.

"I hope so too," he replies. Jim smiles knowingly. With age came wisdom. He knew what was happening between the two; he knew what would keep happening.

"Drive safe!" Castle calls, as Jim leaves and the door shuts, and Kate and Rick are the only ones left in the loft.

Rick wanders back into the lounge. Dinner is left lying on the dining table for morning. Kate is sprawled out over the couch, holding a book.

"_At Dusk We Die_? Really? That's one of my oldest works, Kate. I didn't know you had it," he remarks as he sits down on the opposite end of the couch. "I was thinking we could watch a movie."

The book snaps shut, and Rick sees Kate's face. There's a gleam in her eyes; he can read it, of course.

"Actually, Rick, I'd rather you read to me," she says. Her voice quivers as she speaks, and almost falters at his name.

"Which book?" he asks, shifting to stand up again. She doesn't reply for a moment, and then a book - his book - lands in his lap with a slight thud. _At Dusk We Die_. He opens it, flicking past the dedication. The overabundance of black causes him to flick back. He gasps.

"Signed? You got it signed? When?" the questions escape in quick succession.

"It was the September the year the book came out. Your last signing in New York. Cold, of course, but the line short by the time I got there. A friend told me about it. I stood in line for an hour; I had all these things I was going to say," she says. Rick blinks, his eyes betraying his mind. A mind that was in the past. Looking for something. His eyes widen suddenly.

"I remember you!" he exclaims. Her next words are caught in her throat, with her breath. She is tense, shaking and still at the same time.

"You were wearing this blue jacket, and the most amazing beret. I thought you were the only one in there for the book. Made you stand out," he says. She exhales. Can't hold her breath for much longer, and the words escape her lips with the breath. All at once.

"I was," she blurts. "You glanced at me every five seconds."

Rick chuckles slightly, and Kate manages a smile. "More like every two."

The smile widens. Rick cheers in his mind. Success. A grin.

"When you were finally standing there, ready to get your book signed, you looked so shy. No power heels Beckett," he says softly. She laughs her tiny laugh. He grins, and rests a hand on her knee. Again. When her melodic laugh fades, a shy smile remains.

"I had all this stuff to say, and then I couldn't say it properly," she says. Sort of like now. Kate curses her burgled tongue.

"Your eyes were covering a pain. Something had shaken you. I could tell. I remember wanting nothing more than to reach out to you, to hug you. Something… _anything_ to take your pain away. In the end, I had to settle for words," he says. His voice is raw. Not earthy; nor uncultured. His voice is the raw a voice gets when so affected by emotion that it cannot stand. His ability to speak, like hers, has been conquered by the power of his heart.

"What you wrote surprised me. I didn't know how you knew… how you could understand the pain. At the same time, I felt so relieved that you could… that someone could," her voice quivers. She can't stop it. She doesn't try. It fails her in the end, and her eyes water. Rick reaches forwards. His other hand comes to rest on hers.

"_To Kate Beckett. You look like you've lost your way. Remember, always, that you should never fear to hope. Always hope to fear. For fearing means you have something worth fearing for. Worth fighting for. And that is something more precious than the world and the sun_," Rick reads. Softly. His eyes water. He can't stop them. The words are written on the blank page just inside the front, between the dedication and the copyright gibberish.

"Oh Kate… I couldn't hug you then," he murmurs softly, before pulling her into the warmest hug she has had in a long time. His hand curls into her hair, and the other rests on her back. There is a slight wetness on his shirt. Rick pays no attention. They stay there, warm in each other's arms for a time. The length is unimportant; their state is.

"So… you gonna read to me, Rick?" she asks as they pull away.

"Sure," he replies, and then he reaches under the coffee table and pulls out the manuscript to the latest Nikki Heat novel.

"_To KB, if throughout fear and hope and joy, we still are… we, forever and always, shall be. Take a leap?_" he begins. Tears threaten her composure again.

"I'm fairly certain I love you, Rick," she declares simply, without all the undue bravado of a declaration.

"That's okay, Kate. I _know_ l love you," he replies. And so he reads to her, into the night. And into the night, they remain Kate and Rick, two souls filled with love and hope and fear.

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><p><strong>AN:<strong>

So. Here we are again.

Some of you may have read the other version of Fear and Hope up here. The original was an exercise in writing for a friend. Based on a review, and some advice, from an author of Castle fanfics that I respect, I set out for another exercise in writing.

chezchuckles: If you're reading this, do you like the result?

_To love and life,_

_Scarred Heart._


End file.
